- Fizzy Thoughts: The suspense is killing me!

The suspense is killing me!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

So yes. I actually read some of the spam that makes it through gmail's filter, because they can be so darn entertaining. Case in point...

I know this mail will bring lots of surprises and inquisitiveness to you since there was no previous association before now between us, Please do not be offended & I will understand completely if you cannot be of assistance to me. I am the wife of Late Mr. Alexander Litvinenko (Mrs. Marina Litvinenko), former Russian spy.

My Husband tea was poisoned with polonium-210 by the Russia Government and died November 2006 at the University College Hospital in Central London because of the memorandum he wrote concerning numerous connections between top brass of Russian law enforcement agencies and Russian mafia groups, such as Solntsevo gang which they are after my life (Reason I will disclose Further).

Please I want you to assist in transferring my late husband deposited funds from a financial Diplomatic Vault with one of the biggest banks in the world. All I need from you is to take in charge of the funds transfer to your country for charity purpose and use your discresion on investment without any publicity involvement.

Do take this assistance as a contribution to fate because this is not an easy task for my situation and that is the main reason why I contacted you, more details on establishing relationship with me.

Russian spies! Death by poisoning!! Polonium-210!!! (WTF is polonium-210?) The Russian mafia!!!!

I love it. Major points for the Russian connection (how did you know I wrote my senior project on how the Russian Revolution affected the roles of women?). Bonus points for sending it to me in a language I can read. Except...if you say Reason I will disclose Further and you don't disclose? That's just mean. And you really need to work on those run-on sentences.

No money for you.

8 comment(s):

Heather J. said...

Ok, this is too funny. Want to know what "I" wrote my Senior Thesis about? The women of the Soviet Dissident Movement, and how they fit the mold of Russian women established prior to the Revolution. I'm sure we'd have had lots to compare notes on!

Dawn - She is Too Fond of Books said...

The old "poisoned the tea because of the memorandum" trick!

Lisa said...

Aw, but look, he was real!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Litvinenko_poisoning

Don't you trust his widow???? Geez. The heartlessness of some people.

Nymeth said...

lol...they definitely can be entertaining :P

Beth F said...

I'd be careful about accepting tea from strangers from now on.

girasoli said...

Have I ever mentioned before how much you crack me up? This is hilarious!

Jerry said...

I get such a kick out of these e-mails! One has to wonder if anyone sends them cash though! LOL

pussreboots said...

Wow your spam is more entertaining than mine.

In a real sense, people who have read good literature have lived more than people who cannot or will not read. It is not true that we have only one life to live; if we can read, we can live as many more lives and as many kinds of lives as we wish. ~S.I. Hayakawa

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.
~St. Augustine

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
~Mark Twain

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